The other day I was conducting a training program on Sales Effectiveness. In one of the group role plays it was observed that sellers were dominating the conversation vis-à-vis the customers which was in the ratio of 80% to 20%. While debriefing, one of the participants said the reason to be people being uncomfortable with silence.

The next day I was travelling from Peenya to Silk Institute station by Bengaluru Metro. Lucky to get a seat immediately after boarding the train, I was listening to the announcements which went as follows:

1. The next station is Mahalakshmi and the doors will open on the left.
2. Now you are arriving at Mahalakshmi station. Please be careful while deboarding and maintain a safe distance between the train and the platform.
3.  (After the door closed) Please do not lean against the door.
4. There are some seats reserved for pregnant ladies, senior citizens, specially-abled people and lady with a child. Please provide a seat for them. If not there will be a fine of Rs 500.
5. The compartments are monitored with CCTV cameras.
6.  Please take care of your Saree, Dupatta, Panche, Dhoti, Bags etc while travelling. (I was happy to note that trousers, churidars and skirts were not added to the list.)

In a journey lasting 51 minutes spanning 21 stations, there were a staggering 169 announcements in English and Kannada.  Silence was conspicuous by its absence.

When I narrated the above details to my friend, he said, “Rajan, you claim the above data from your mindfulness meditation carried out during the journey. Isn’t it distracting to listen to such messages all the time?”

I was reminded of a  meditating disciple who was getting irritated due to external disturbance.He said to his master, “ I cannot focus on my meditation, the croaking of a frog is quite disturbing.” The master replied, “ It is  otherwise, your behaviour is a hindrance to the frog’s meditation.”

The incessant announcements per se were not affecting me. As if this was not enough, most of the passengers were busy with their mobiles. A few among them had the temerity to watch videos without headphones.

Why are we so uncomfortable with silence? Is it because we consider the passengers to be dumb and lacking any intelligence that they need to be micromanaged all the time? Ditto at the airport, you will see a guy rushing past you breaking the queue with nonchalance murmuring: “I need to rush to catch a flight to Delhi. “

Ellen J Langer, A Harvard Psychologist in her book: Mindfulness- Choice and Control in Everyday Life narrates an interesting experiment she conducted where people in an office are in a queue waiting to taking photocopies. The experiment was about the compliance in communication and the employees were subjected to the following three messages:

1. Excuse me, may I use the photocopier?
2. Excuse me, may I use the photocopier because I want to make copies?
3. Excuse me,  may I use the copier, because I am in a rush?

Statements A and B are same in content, whereas B and C are same in structure which includes a reason. B and C could get away breaking the queue because attention is more to structure than reason.  

Now the same passenger is at the departure gate at the Bengaluru airport and you hear an airline official screaming, “Mr Kapoor, please board the flight 6E256 to Delhi as the gates are closing now.”

Where does this tendency to control people come from? Are the passengers not aware of the responsibility of boarding the flight? Now you get into the aircraft. Apart from the mandatory safety instructions some will be as below:

‘Please keep the luggage below, make way for other passengers.’

Depending on your destination, it may be ‘Enjoy the Kati Rolls of Kolkata or delicious  idlis in Bangalore.’ The interesting one being  ‘have you forgotten  to take your mobile, spectacles, tablet, books, and what not’

Nan-In, a fish vendor in Japan had put up a sign board which read: FRESH FISH SOLD HERE. A practitioner of Zen philosophy, one day he started questioning the purpose of the sign board:

1. Why do I need to write FRESH as no one is going to sell stale fish?
2. Is the word FISH really needed as it is obvious I am not selling vegetables, chicken or mutton?
3. SOLD looks redundant too as the customers know I am not here for charity.
4. HERE  is also irrelevant as it is not elsewhere.

The above approach may be appropriate in your inward spiritual journey but will it be so for the mundane life? Can there be a distinction between essential and redundant communication? Like which is the next station, the safety instructions or to remain seated till further notice?

The conventional communication conveys the information, the content.  Does the  lack of silence between the words  conveys the attitude of controlling the others,   garrulousness and a ploy to drive away the inner anxiety? The awkwardness with the sound of silence is not only with the service providers but also with the passengers. The flight lands and the air hostess says, “please do not get up  till the seat-belt sign is turned off and until the aircraft comes to a  complete halt.” Some passengers are so eager to exit as if the aircraft is about to catch fire or getting hijacked.

              Is there a possibility that  the sound of silence be more eloquent than words?

              P.S. The way the metro stations are named be it Goraguntepalya, Doddakallasandr or Thalaghattapura is also another way to make communication complex. ( blog article: https://rajanparulekar.in/2019/06/14/whats-in-a-name/)